school and cystic fibrosis

Well for me junior school was actually pretty normal. I only ever had IV antibiotics once a year an always did them at home so i could go to school. I was very careful when i had a long line in because i was always running around and sometimes clumsy..! I think when my health went downhill when i was 11, it completely ruined my chance at high school. I left in year 9 as it was just too much for me to handle. I am actually glad i left when i did, as i don’t think i would of being in a good shape today. Obviously everyone’s experience is different, so this is just purely based on my experience. In year 7, i had to go into hospital for a week, which annoyingly was my first week at high school also. I did the first three days, then went straight in. They told me i had a collapsed lung, and also a chest infection…Turns out i only had a chest infection and did not have a collapse lung! I was gutted as i could of gone to school and maybe things might of turned out different..I actually became very very depressed at the end of year 7 due to missing lots due to more hospital visits, and my social life was going down hill fast. Everyone was saying how i was missing school for nothing and when i went back they would confront me and i honestly would break down and cry. I am actually so happy that i left when i did because i couldn’t of taken it anymore. I am now 18, and seeing a psychologist for my awful time at high school. I even kept having night terrors when i left, and i probably have one every three weeks now, which is such a relief. I never really went to high school thinking it would be a good day, considering i would start coughing and i wouldn’t be able to stop. Most of the other pupils would stare and even say something.  I did everything i could to try and stop coughing, but that made it worse! Its like i should of worn a massive sign saying CYSTIC FIBROSIS. It was so frustrating and embarrassing. I even started hating coughing at home, or even with my closest friends at the time.  Which someone with CF or someone you know with CF, its pretty hard not to cough at least once a day! I probably stayed at home nearly every day all day, and just shut the world out. I hated going in public because i was getting weaker from not doing medicine or anything like that. So mentally and physically i was getting weaker each day. I only ever felt comfortable at home, or hospital! It changed a lot for me two years ago thankfully when i met Jamie, I started going out more, and saying things for myself. It really boosted my confidence, unlike high school did! I still have a long long way too go. But when people say high school was the best years of their life, it was my hell. L x PAIN IS REAL

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